Last do…

Off I head to my last drinks party for a while…..

Well as I go off on my bike with my favourite bottle of Italian wine in my basket… to the house of old friends for a birthday apero ….. I am feeling fairly okay.  I feel like I am saying goodbye to an old friend.  Because whilst I am telling myself that it is only a 100 day experiment, I am afraid that it will turn out that I like it so much that I stay away.  Every thought which comes into my head which is rocking me slightly, causing me to feel like the odd one out, causing me to think life is going to be boring and I am going to wear pastel frilly shirts for the rest of my life… all these thoughts I am banishing with my fuck you wolfie mantra.  It is possible to be cool and fit in and one of the crowd and enjoy life without the buzz of alcohol sheening over reality like a lying blanket.  The following is the little pledge I do to Belle in order for her to become my penpal for the next year…..

“I will not drink for 100 days. No matter what. I can cry, but I will not drink. I can go to bed or go home early. I might feel distressed … but I will not drink. Bad things might happen, but I will not drink. Incredibly shitty things may happen to someone around me, or my neighbour, or my friend’s friend’s grandmother. But there will be no booze. Funerals? Weddings? Amputation? I’m not drinking for 100 days no matter what happens … No matter what.”

What a thing to pledge.  But I am holding my breath and diving in from 1 August 2018.  Byeeeee.

D day minus one

Today is the day before day 1

GOOD MORNING ALL!  Even though there are no followers!  I am still working out the blog posts.  I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and so will be sitting with the tutorial videos and editing it all as I go along!

I am mentally prepared for my challenge.  I have N and I coming along with me and we are going to go for it!  Personally these are my hopes/thoughts….

  1.  I would like to reset my balance.
  2. I would like to see if my life is significantly improved without alcohol.
  3. To spend one full trajectory round the sun having one of each of the days without a drink.
  4. I do not expect to give up forever.  I don’t want to say that.  I would like to drink like a normal human and never have a hangover.

So those are my broad hopes.  I have so many things I feel I am unproductive over because BBB gets in the way.  Big Bad Booze.  Not so much physically in the way as mentally in the way.  My inner critic goes berserk when I drink.  I would like that silenced.  I want to do my art, I want to write, I want to make a big difference in the my world.  There are so many things that I am excited about.  I am definitely having a sober coach, because whilst this feels easy now, I know I will get rocky.  You pay this lovely person to email you every single day for a year.  You pay for her exquisite experience and wisdom and it is a brilliant investment into ME.  So see you tomorrow for day one 😉

LOVE B

Mycuppatea….

This is my first attempt at a blog… be patient with me 😉

I want to be able to share my next life stage with people.  Only because I feel I am about to encounter some significant changes and if they could ever benefit anyone else out there then I will be happy.  Thanks to a wonderful lady called Belle, I am embarking of 100 days alcohol-free.  It feels like I am trying to go through a tiny tiny door, one that I will never be able to fit through!  But I know that when I do go through, the other side will be much friendlier than I imagine.  I am going to do it with the help of Belle, a sober coach.  I am someone who can be very well behaved most of the time.  But the other part of the time I am rowdy and raucous and I annoy myself.  I want to do an experiment to see if excluding alcohol from my life will improve it, or make it boring… So here goes.  Stay with me – my start date is 1 August 2018.

 

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! I am a beginner blogger and I got this page as standard in my sign up to word press.  But I like it.  I am blogging because it will make me accountable.  What seemed so terrifying last week has been made easier.  The quote that I think turned my corner was… Do not let fear decide your future.  I was so afraid of not drinking.  It is all in the head.  All in the mind and is not true.  I will not let fear dictate my future.  I want to be creative and productive every single day of my life.  I do not want to waste another day with having low energy and misery cos I am hungover.  It is not like I am an alcoholic.  I have really tried to understand this.  I am just a person who has occasions when they get way more drunk than they should and then detests themselves the whole of the next day.  Be gone that person.  I am aware that I am opening up my private head to the whole of the internet.  And this is risky and I feel vulnerable.  I am not afraid of judgment 😉  I know I am loved.  Happy reading!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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