It has been a time of strangeness this enforced isolation with our families. I kind of miss it a little. But obviously I am so glad that I am able to go out without a little piece of paper and a guilty conscience.
I had one obvious flash of drinking-related ire during the time. I wrote about it last time, and then went onto my post and deleted half of it, afraid that I may alert people to my unstable mind and I got cold feet about being quite so ”out there”.
I have had a chance to reflect on this reaction. I was over the top. I realise that when I start to feel antsy and triggered then I need to remove myself from the situation. Do a reality check and then re-think. I guess this goes for most tricky situations face, drinking related or not. I often times find myself emotional about not drinking. I know that Belle will say, and has said, that I am drifting from my supports 1) If I feel left out 2) If I feel jealous of the drinkers and 3) If I feel cross that I ”cannot” drink. I think all three things are related and basically boil down to the same thing. I want to drink with them. And if I feel that then I am adrift from my supports. And this is okay. What is not okay is not realising that one is adrift.
What I really know deep down is that I do not want to go back to the days when I woke up feeling shaky and horrible. The days when I just wanted bedtime to come. If I start to drink wine or whatever it will only be a matter of time and I will be experiencing those feelings again. That is the reality check. Then bolster up the sober supports. There are trillions of people who are sober and really cool and having a really fun life. Find this online. Give yourself sober treats. Take reality checks often. Find a sober gang.
It made my day. Paid my child money to watch it with me. Even though afterwards he did not want the money! He liked it too!
So meltdown rules:
- Remove oneself from situation
- Take a reality check
- Bolster up your supports.
I love with all my heart the integrity, hope, calmness, opening up ness of life and all the good that has come with not being in the booze trap. I will not be giving it up!
PS I have lots of views from very far flung places. Please email or message me at anytime. I will always answer.