434. Journey time.


I do feel very much like I am on the verge of an exciting journey with this non boozing.  It seems like life has opened up wide and the possibilities are endless, due to not being hampered by ”Will I be hungover?” ”Can I trust myself to just have one or two?” “Shall I drive or will I be regretful and wish I had taken bus?” ”Can I commit to that if I am going out the night before?” ”Will I feel like shit the next day, so therefore should not say yes to this or that?”

Everything is just so much more manageable.  So much calmer.  And really – from the point of view of a NON DAILY DRINKER.  A NON ON MY OWN DRINKER……(I have said this before) the difference is totally out of proportion to the smallness of what I have stopped doing.  That being just not putting a glass to my lips – a glass containing ethanol in various guises – and sipping.  Very little change.  Very small movement that is no longer occurring.  Bizarre.

So I have another exciting project that I am going to start blogging about, because I believe that clearing space, both physically and metaphorically is very important.  This seems to be my ”new” thing.  I have signed up for “Uncluttered” – a 12 week online course with a money back guarantee to get your home ship shape and ready to rock and roll.  I am moving out of my current house in two months time, directly after a three week holiday.  So I need to be organised.  I am a master procrastinator.  When I feel like I have too much to do I get overwhelmed.  I make myself a cup of tea.  And I write a list.  Instead of just doing one thing that I should be doing.

I am also doing a course in Spiritual Direction.  This has meant that I need my own Spiritual Director.  This has been unbelievably useful for me – a person to come alongside one in their search and discernment of ”God” in their life.  It is just my thing.  I love it.  Anyhow, I have needed to write a journal daily about what brings me life (and love and energy) and about what drains me.  So a ”noticing” journal.  Nothing judgmental. And the thing that drains me the most is when I waste my time and faff around and do too much facebooking and then think, okay I’ll go to bed now and do all that tomorrow.  I can waste plenty of time because although I have a few small jobs, I don’t actually go out to an office, or place of work at a regular time.   There are plenty of things that bring me energy and life, but the overriding draining one is the irritation at myself of wasted time.  I don’t mean I should not take time out and rest and read etc. but I hate being unproductive.

Funnily enough, as soon as I stopped drinking, if you were with me reading the blogs from day 1, you will have noticed that my productivity stepped up 1000 fold.  I was baking, making ginger beer, crocheting, etc and so on… I am still fairly productive, but because I can be on my total own for days at a time with no actual structure I can get quite distracted.

So productivity and house organisation with a twist into the metaphorical de-cluttering to follow…..And the odd nod to no booze Barbs.

Have a great evening.

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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