Four hundred and eight.

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A little goes a long way.

I am now 408 days into this journey of being a sober person in a boozy world.  The sober amongst us are the rebels now.  The people swimming against the tide.  I like this.

I was contemplating the power of not drinking, and finding it quite astonishing that for a relatively small seeming decision (not sipping alcohol) there is a massive seismic effect in the mind.

ASTONISHING.

I was not (as you all know) a daily drinker, not a drinker alone in my house – or even just with my kids there… I just didn’t!  BUT when I did drink, I wanted more than one glass.  I could not be content with sipping one glass – large or small – all evening.  The warm glisten of the drink slipped into my veins, the people around me became more alive, I became funnier, younger, prettier and life glowed up several degrees.  That was the fun part.  And the feeling does not last.  Even after a relatively small amount of booze I would wake up feeling anxious, regretful, introspective and cut off.  After a big amount, I would feel positively dreadful.  Not so much physically as mentally.  Some days I would feel like I was stuck in the bottom of a deep dark crevasse.  But this was not all that often.

SO.  Given that I was not like this all of the time, and that I didn’t (don’t) consider myself to have reached rock bottom, or even having had a very low bottom, I wonder why I am experiencing these dramatic upward effects from not drinking??

I guess it is like the yeast effect.  A little regular alcohol spoils the next days.  A little yeast makes the whole dough rise.  A little sobriety goes a very long way.

 

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

4 thoughts on “Four hundred and eight.”

  1. Barbs
    I am in France, alone for three weeks. I am here to do some work, on my writing and on myself. I have had a drink every day for the past four days although moderate. It seems a crime to be in France and not drink and yet I feel in my heart the absolute wisdom of your words. Do you have any words of advice??

    Liked by 1 person

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