A little goes a long way.
I am now 408 days into this journey of being a sober person in a boozy world. The sober amongst us are the rebels now. The people swimming against the tide. I like this.
I was contemplating the power of not drinking, and finding it quite astonishing that for a relatively small seeming decision (not sipping alcohol) there is a massive seismic effect in the mind.
I was not (as you all know) a daily drinker, not a drinker alone in my house – or even just with my kids there… I just didn’t! BUT when I did drink, I wanted more than one glass. I could not be content with sipping one glass – large or small – all evening. The warm glisten of the drink slipped into my veins, the people around me became more alive, I became funnier, younger, prettier and life glowed up several degrees. That was the fun part. And the feeling does not last. Even after a relatively small amount of booze I would wake up feeling anxious, regretful, introspective and cut off. After a big amount, I would feel positively dreadful. Not so much physically as mentally. Some days I would feel like I was stuck in the bottom of a deep dark crevasse. But this was not all that often.
SO. Given that I was not like this all of the time, and that I didn’t (don’t) consider myself to have reached rock bottom, or even having had a very low bottom, I wonder why I am experiencing these dramatic upward effects from not drinking??
I guess it is like the yeast effect. A little regular alcohol spoils the next days. A little yeast makes the whole dough rise. A little sobriety goes a very long way.