387. or so.

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Long time no post from me!  I have had precious family staying and it has been full on busy bee-ing around.  Today I am just me and the boy at home.  He is making homemade pasta and tomato sauce.  What a lovely boy.  I am very lucky.

As for me…. I am reflecting on the non drinking as always.  It cannot get old.  I cannot say, okay, its been over a year now,  I have got this!!!

This is how I am going to proceed.

I have a sober car that needs fuel to keep on going.  I need things to fill up the tank.  These are the things that fill up my tank:

  • Reading emails
  • Writing emails
  • Doing the blog
  • Having a specifically sober treat
  • Listening to podcasts

It is imperative that I do not let these things slip.  I have had a few feelings of being short-changed.  Of feeling that I am missing out of the fun.  These feelings do not last, but they are real and make me feel grrrrr.  I heard from Belle, that these indicate a vulnerability and I need to fill up my tank a little more.  I know that IF I keep the tank full as possible, then I will not slip.  If I start to be lax and forgetful, then the idea of one or two sips of wine becomes ”not a big deal” and from there I will be at half a glass and bingo wingo…. I will be back drinking.

This summer has been so much less complicated than it would have been as a boozy one.  I realise just how much time I spent thinking:-

  • Was I getting my fair share of the good booze?
  • Was there going to be enough?
  • Was I going to be able to go out and limit myself?
  • Would I just say no to things because I may be hungover?

My energy levels and emotional energy would have been severely limited by even a little poison in my body by night.  Even two or three glasses slowed me down the next day.  As it is I have had plenty of energy and have had a stress free time now worrying about the next day, the fullest or emptiest wine glass, the missing out if I only had one or two … I has been (drink wise) such a relaxing time.

I may take this blog in a slightly different direction.  Perhaps not so ”getting rid of booze” centred and more on what is filling up the space created by being ENERGETIC AND CREATIVE AND SO DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF.

I do ask for you to say hi if you want to … please do.  I am definitely going to get a few guests in for their say… I have one in mind…. So that you can hear the voices of others on the same journey.  If you have failed and if you think that you could never do this, then please write to me.  I will always answer….

byeeeeee

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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