325. Seedlings


Right now my garden is just bursting into life.  I have grown several little plants from seed.  They have been nurtured and now they are planted and are growing strong.  The life and abundance of nature is bowling me over on a daily basis.  Summer began yesterday here where I live.  I am so happy and excited.  I have eaten lettuce from my garden for lunch three days in a row!  I have all manner of herbs to add to my salad bowl, and in a few weeks there will be tomatoes and peppers and cucumber – I hope.

This makes me think of the year that has been.  I am a little astounded that the change feels so big.   I wanted to make some fundamental shift in my behaviour pattern and knew that stopping drinking was the best way to do it.  I was not (as I have repeatedly said) what I would class, an ”alcoholic”.   But ever since the dawn of my drinking career I have been an over-drinker.  I was possibly worse than some and but also a good deal better than others.  This does not matter, what matters is that it made me feel shit.

But, back to the seedlings, I feel like when I stopped drinking, a little seed of hope and happiness was planted deep in my soul.  It is sprouting and growing and bearing fruit and flowers in the most unexpected of ways.  I have this ENERGY to do things that I have not been bothered to do before.  I want to plant and weed and seed and cut the lawn and make the effort with my garden.  I did always love to garden, but now I have amazing energy to get up early and check out my garden and my plants….

I am also waking up early to meditate because I am never hungover.  Bliss.  I have read tonnes about mediation and always been very sporadic in my practice thereof, but since being energetic and enthusiastic in the early mornings I have put this new discipline in!  It is a discipline.  And there are days when I have to do it last thing at night.. but I will not miss a day.  Mainly because the app is tracking my consecutive days and I don’t want to bugger it up, but whatever the reason, I am doing it.  It is bearing fruit.  All kinds of surprising calmness, wisdom and general clarity in huge measures.  What a gift.

So I am going to do all I can to nurture this new life growing in me.  It is the biggest gift I have ever given myself.


Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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