304. 10 Months


Happy ten months to me (and to N!)

I woke up this morning STILL glad I wake up sober.  I will never get tired of it.  Never.

I had a fleeting thought, on seeing some pictures of a place where I have drank plenty plus for many years.  A place in Italy which serves the most delicious Gin Maree drinks.  These are gin and tonic of the highest quality with juniper berries and fresh rosemary twigs.  And I was nostalgic and slightly sad.  Wolfie (my addictive voice) is very subtle and sly.  It would make no difference to anyone around me if I had the identical drink, but without the gin.  NOT A STITCH OF DIFFERENCE.

That is why I need to always remember to keep close to the supports, the podcasts, the friends and the reasons why I choose not to drink.  I sometimes imagine looking back and thinking, geez remember when I managed a year off drinking?  Imagine that I think, fine, I have made it, a year (in two months God willing) and then I am beguiled into having that ONE special glass of champagne, that single gorgeous special occasion because I never see you, and because it is my fiftieth, or because it is a graduation, or because because because the endless list of good reasons to drink, and I have the one.  Belle says that one drink is the gateway to thousands (or something to that effect).. and yes that is the reality of it.

I never want to be looking back with fondness and longing on my ”year” being sober.  I want to live in it for years to come.  And maybe drink like a decent normal human when I am 70. And knowing the 70 year olds I know that is still young!!!  So maybe when I am 80.  Come to think of it I had lunch with a guy who was almost 80 yesterday, and he still seemed so young.  Good lord!

Suffice to say, I am still here and intend for YEARS TO COME, to still be here.  Tempting as that one special drink seems, I will not be having it.

Love to you


Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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