207. Hello Sunday morning

Utter contentment


Not sure if it is because I am around people who still drink, but I am STILL even after 207 days, grateful every single morning, that I am clear headed.  I do hope that this carries on.  Last night I went for the rugby to a bar in town.  There were lots of friends there and the jugs of beer were flowing and so on…  The sight of the beer in jugs made my insides jangle slightly.  I would be wondering if there was enough!  Wondering if we would get the bus home… Wondering if I would feel jaded and pie eyed when we got home and had to finish cooking… But none of that for me now!  It is sheer bliss.

Even though at times I feel on the edge of things slightly, socially just a little bit outside of the inner goings on…..that slight discomfort soon fades.  Especially in the mornings when things are new and fresh and I can go downstairs and make my delicious coffee and see my dog and feel bright.  I can get up and say yes to so many things.  It is hard to underestimate the lethargy that comes from a hangover.  Even a small one.  I really have wasted so many many days just a little bit meeuh… not feeling the love.  Not wanting to be bothered.  It is different now.

Back in the summer I was making brownies for this little shop in my village.  It extended to cookies too… Then it went quiet in the inter season and now it is back with a vengeance.  She has asked for carrot cake too, and yesterday a cheesecake.  Now those of you who know me know that carrot cake and cheesecake are my absolute favourites… So I’m making those too.  And she texts often enough and says… ooh Barbara can you bring another carrot cake and so on.  And I have heaps of energy to be reliable and creative.

I skiied this morning with my daughter – home from uni… Bliss.  How many many weekend mornings have I woken up knackered and jaded.  When going skiing just seemed like such a huge effort.  I came to it late, so it is always a tiny bit scary for me… a little mental challenge.  With a hangover it was not a challenge I was up to.  I would go – if I HAD to …. but I’d rather be napping.   Not anymore.  The change is huge and yet tiny.   This is difficult to explain.  Such a small switch in what you do or don’t put into your body can have such a large ripple effect.

Hope the week goes well for you xxxx

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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