191. I had to look it up! Random thoughts.

Image result for waking up happy

You don’t have to be an alcoholic to give up drinking.

If you think that you will be better off without drinking, then you should try not drinking.  

Just say quitting drinking does nothing except:

  • Better relationship with kids/friends
  • More productive
  • More money
  • Lose weight
  • Other hobbies
  • Feel proud of you
  • Live more authentically
  • Sleep better
  • Clear mind 
  • More energy
  • Better relationship with husband/wife
  • Wake up happy – that is not me above, but I have that duvet cover…..

If there was a pill selling the above then it would fly off the shelves.  For me this ”pill” is cutting out the wine, gin, prosecco and champagne.  The benefits are immense.  Incredible.  I don’t really know why they seem so out of proportionally good compared to just doing that one thing.  

For me, as I go along thinking about the good things about not drinking… the main thing that strikes me is that EVERY SINGLE DAY I wake up and I am happy that I didn’t drink.  That is, for the last 191 days, I have woken up feeling a surge of positivity.  A surge of pride in myself.  A surge of hope.  How great is that.  

Everything that was stressing me out, irritating me, making me depressed, making me anxious has gone down twenty notches.  Just by stopping drinking.  The calmness level has stepped up.  Wow.  

For example, if we were drinking and I felt like my husband was being tetchy with me, I would be double triple tetchy back.  If I felt ”got at” by anyone, it was multiplied.

When I was drinking – and I don’t even mean everyday – I had this taint over everything of feeling-a-little-bit-shit-about-myself.

 Just a little.  Just enough to colour how I felt about myself in relation to all other things.  For example.  If I was going out for a dinner with friends and had an early appointment the next day, I would worry – sometimes even subconsciously – that I was going to feel hungover.  Because when I am hungover my mental energy is very skewed.  I feel really crap about myself.  Shameful.  Then facing the early appointment would have been hard.  Fake.  Urrrrgh.  Now I can look into the future with not an ounce of concern about how I will wake up feeling, and what I have to do every day because my mental energy is really high.  I can look at the things I have to deal with and face them with clarity and sense.  This is a priceless gift.  

Because, for me, this is how an evening may go…. me:  ”Okay, I am going to be really good tonight.  Have to be fresh tomorrow and so only one or two glasses and that is it. ”  And then out we would go, and the first drink didn’t count cos it was an apero, gin and tonic or something.  Then there would be wine with dinner, and someone would keep topping me up and greedy me would not say no, and before I knew it I would be definitely taking the night bus home, and over the limit to drive and though maybe not pissed pissed, just enough to wake up feeling crap.  I cannot tell you how much deal making went on in my head, how much managing of quantities.  How many small rules for myself that I would keep for a while, then break. It is SO MUCH easier just going NOPE.  THIS IS NOT FOR ME.

 IT IS LIKE THIS.  It’s hard at first, because your brain is so used to taking the LAZY way through.  Reaching for the vino is just a lazy shortcut to feeling good.  And on the way it robs you of clarity, adds extra touchiness, offended-ness, can add hilarity, but takes away common sense.  Gives you super powers you don’t really have… Makes you think you are something you really are not!  In short, it is a false friend.  You are not funnier, more relaxed, giving yourself a well earned treat.  None of that.  You are more boring in the long run, acutely sensitive and why would you treat your body with a known poison?  Sorry to sound like a boring old fart, but that is the fact of it.  We are conned.  Conned by the money making machine of the drinks industry.  Conned by society and for me, I am not falling for it any longer.  

Enough random wonderings.  Have a great day xxx

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

One thought on “191. I had to look it up! Random thoughts.”

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