Six months tomorrow.



I have to just run through a thing or two in my head.  Personally now, this is so much easier and feels like I am doing what is best for me, for my family and my life in general.  But I am aware how close to the edge I walk.  I was having a Birthday Eve drink with my husband in a local bar… he had a pint and I had a Perrier tranche (slice of lemon and fizzy water) (just sounds better like that…) and he said – on the eve of my 49th birthday…. so you are not even going to have some champagne on your fiftieth?  Now given that is a year away – who knows???  But this is how my thinking went.

”No I’m not”…. ”actually a glass would not hurt”.  (Have you ever realised how simple the action is to drink a glass of something?  It is like doing nothing at all).  Then I carried on thinking….. well IF I am in South Africa for my birthday and I have a glass of champagne, I might as well have wine that night too.  And then cos I am there, where I love the vineyards and the sunshine (January is summer there) and I love the Sauvignon Blanc… maybe I should just give myself the holiday off.  Actually maybe I should only drink when I am on holiday?”  

And before I knew it… I was back bargaining with my brain.  Now Belle the coach calls that voice Wolfie.  I know some of you don’t like that name…. But whatever you want to call it it is part of you (me) and it is called your ”addictive voice”.  Giving it a name and acting like it is a separate part of you is called AVR…. Addictive voice recognition.  ANYTIME WE BARGAIN with ourselves, we are engaging with that addictive voice.  Whether it is for …… too much junk food, too much rubbish TV, exercise, porn… WHATEVER we are drawn to that we know does not serve us.

It got me thinking.  I have to be on my guard.  My ”AV” was very very reasonable.  Very seductive.  Very easy to listen to.  Very convincing.

I am joing Club 365 today with my Belle coach.   Pledging to carry on till 1 August this year.  I need to be accountable.  That voice is too clever.


Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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