166. Not getting tired of it.

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I will not get bored of this….

Jumping out of bed this morning, I was greeted by PILES and I mean PILES of snow.  Overnight at least 100cm of snow had sprinkled itself into my garden.  I jumped up and started shovelling, and have been doing a little to keep on top of it ever since.  I had a deep snowshoe until my dog got so full of snowballs that he could barely walk, and then came home.

I feel springy and fresh.  I am sleeping like a dream.  I wake up feeling proud of myself.  I can look myself in the eye.  I can agree on things way into the future without thinking… will I be hungover?  I feel a simmering of joy fairly constantly.  The future seems brimming with possibility because I am free of anything that is making me feel physically and mentally drained.  Now I know this won’t always be true.  That troubles will come my way and that I will have to deal with feeling mizzzerable sometimes, but the underlying knowledge that I am my own self untarnished and facing life, this is worth everything to me.

I wasn’t drinking every day…. I wasn’t drinking on my own.  But I, over the years, could not shake that feeling that I was wasting my hours with a glass of wine.  Wasting my days.  I have wasted too much time.  I have things to do and places to go.  If I was to go back to trying to moderate it would be a nightmare.  I have no desire WHATSOEVER to go back…. And that is not how this blog started.  I was trying to do 100 days.  Then 180 days (which comes up on 28th January, the day before my birthday) and maybe at a huge stretch 360 days.  But now, I am relishing getting to 720 days!!

Some wisdom from Insta.

  • at first : Impossible
  • Then:  difficult
  • Then: strange
  • Then: normal
  • Finally:  i wouldn’t have it any other way.

Bye to you all (all few of you hehehehehe)

B xx

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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