I will not get bored of this….
Jumping out of bed this morning, I was greeted by PILES and I mean PILES of snow. Overnight at least 100cm of snow had sprinkled itself into my garden. I jumped up and started shovelling, and have been doing a little to keep on top of it ever since. I had a deep snowshoe until my dog got so full of snowballs that he could barely walk, and then came home.
I feel springy and fresh. I am sleeping like a dream. I wake up feeling proud of myself. I can look myself in the eye. I can agree on things way into the future without thinking… will I be hungover? I feel a simmering of joy fairly constantly. The future seems brimming with possibility because I am free of anything that is making me feel physically and mentally drained. Now I know this won’t always be true. That troubles will come my way and that I will have to deal with feeling mizzzerable sometimes, but the underlying knowledge that I am my own self untarnished and facing life, this is worth everything to me.
I wasn’t drinking every day…. I wasn’t drinking on my own. But I, over the years, could not shake that feeling that I was wasting my hours with a glass of wine. Wasting my days. I have wasted too much time. I have things to do and places to go. If I was to go back to trying to moderate it would be a nightmare. I have no desire WHATSOEVER to go back…. And that is not how this blog started. I was trying to do 100 days. Then 180 days (which comes up on 28th January, the day before my birthday) and maybe at a huge stretch 360 days. But now, I am relishing getting to 720 days!!
Some wisdom from Insta.
- at first : Impossible
- Then: difficult
- Then: strange
- Then: normal
- Finally: i wouldn’t have it any other way.
Bye to you all (all few of you hehehehehe)