144. Tender madness


It is Christmas time….

Tender madness is the translation for Folie Douce.  Folie Douce is a massive club/bar/hotel restaurant just opened in my home town.  I went last night for a look…..  it is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.  We live in a tiny mountain village and there has been nothing like this here till now.  It might not be the best translation ”Tender Madness…” but I have to say that I felt very triggered when I went there last night.  I really wanted to be young and dancing and swigging a large vodka and soda with lime.  And of course gorgeously skinny and dressed to kill heheheheheheh.

BUT I am certain that there were others there who would enjoy the whole experience sober.  Not just me!  You can get a buzz from the buzz with your Perrier and the music.  I want to be that person who is dancing till late with no booze fuelling my energy.

The Christmas period is so much better without hangovers.  I feel much less pressure about the coming days knowing that I will be up early, under control for the cooking, present wrapping and general doings that come with this time of year.  I am up early with my gorgeous coffee, reading my book, listening to my meditation (app Insight timer – it is brilliant) and patting my dog!  I am about to put on a big Capon for the Christmas lunch at church… Then prepare for the KidsClub session at my house later today… Christmas is revving up and I love it.

Last night I felt triggery and a little odd at the big club.  But I am solid enough in this voyage at the moment to realise that I would be absolutely the one going for it drink wise at a place like that.  I don’t want to do it.  I want to be this person here and now, not that old me fuelled on wine and then waking feeling like a piece of cornflake with depression.  I want to be the mum that the others can rely on for being ”there” and sober and real.  The disconnect that comes when talking to someone who is smashed is really obvious from this side of the door.  I do not choose that.  I choose this connected wholeness that I feel right now.

Hope you are having a good run up to silly season.  Message me if you would like a chat!




Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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