On holiday …. having first proper long holiday without wine, gin etc.
I put on FB the other day to someone, that it is my first ”sober” Christmas in 33 years or so… and my mom was horrified. She thought I meant that I was rat-arsed every Christmas. Which is not true. Though certainly a few have been. I feel I need to qualify…. to anyone who cares…. Sober just means no alcohol in contrast with little or lots of alcohol. That is what it means to me anyway.
I am in my land of favourite wine. South Africa. I have been fine for the most part. My sister is with me on day 128. Cheers Nic! I have not entertained any ideas of any drinking. Its just squashed and not followed up by the brain.
When I have not been with the partner in crime (my sister)…I have had a few jealous moments and a couple of stampy foot moments…. Actually just one really. Where I did feel just plain left out and etc. No one noticed. It was just me.
But on the other hand…. I have had pin sharp early mornings, a few runs on the beach, a few swims in the sea and lots of gorgeous African fresh air and sunshine. I am re reading a brilliant book, that I absolutely loved about a family settling near Salisbury, Rhodesia, in the 1930’s. I have finished Love Warrior… very worth a read. Another sober babe. And in general had a spoily time with my family. Very very precious times. I am very lucky.
I read this from mothermocktail as a comment she posted on a picture of the sea in Wales….. she’s an instagrammer:
The sun, sky, wind, water and sand – all so powerful and beautiful. This makes me think of the intense feeling of warmth and joy within me when I find myself in a social situation surrounded by drinkers. I feel so free, liberated and powerful… in such a beautiful way. I have no need for what they need. My needs are met simply by being there. If I am offered a nice AF drink then I am even happier but if not, it really doesn’t matter. I can deal with it. I would never have felt this way before or even said this before sobriety. Drinks had to be had. It was a necessity, like treating and eating. What chains I had around and within myself! What punishment I was putting myself through. It is all over. I have found my freedom and I am keeping it…..
Lovely encouraging inspiring words. Thank you mothermocktail…
Have a lovely Thursday evening wherever you are, whoever you are and
Byeeee from me.
PS let me know if you are out there.