Nice looking rosemary and grapefruit and soda mocktails no? I am home alone properly for the first time ever. Usually I would have a child home from school but today marks the first day when no one will come home. And you know what? It is not half as bad as I thought it would be. I am feeling even and calm. I have been doing some behind the scenes head work which would NOT have HAPPENED had I been using the boozing to numb my feelings. I have had to face a few things head on and deal with them. Nothing major, just my idiosyncrasies, and I have come to a place of stability.
I am going to be having many treats this rest of the year. I am going away lots and I did have a moment or two this past week when I thought, fuck it. I am going to be 100 days sober when I 1) go on holiday with my two old friends for the first time in 30 years – besties from school days. Just the three of us going on holiday. 2) When I go to London with my family and see a show or so 3) Go to New York as a treat with my husband just after. Then I go to SA to see my family for three weeks. LOTS AND LOTS of drinking opportunities and I will have passed my 100 day challenge and pledge. Eeeeek. I know that this is how I am going to have to face these things….
- listen daily to Belle and her podcasts. I have spent money on 100 podcasts and can listen to them more than once. There is very little like listening to a podcast to put me back on the straight and narrow.
- Take it all one day at a time. I will not drink just for today. And I will say that every day.
- I am going to pledge to find the best mocktails wherever I go. Like a treasure hunt for jewels that look lovely and will make me feel like I am treating myself. I will post the pictures here on my quest.
- I know that if I don’t cave I will be so so so so (x100000) proud of myself. I know that if I do cave I will not be pleased with myself.
- I am happy in this pleasant space of no booze that I am carving out for me. I love it. I feel like each day is a benediction. So why would I leave it?
- Learn to realise that I will think… Oh come on, you’ve done so well, you deserve a little break, a little me time, it won’t get out of hand and so on and so forth. But that is the wolfie within and it is a lie.
I do hope there are still some of you reading this, and even if there is no one, then I am still going to blog away. Next time I will talk about self care a little more. I think this is a vital topic.
Love and hugs