71. Seems long but is not really

Home alone!

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Nice looking rosemary and grapefruit and soda mocktails no?  I am home alone properly for the first time ever.  Usually I would have a child home from school but today marks the first day when no one will come home.  And you know what?  It is not half as bad as I thought it would be.  I am feeling even and calm.  I have been doing some behind the scenes head work which would NOT have HAPPENED had I been using the boozing to numb my feelings.  I have had to face a few things head on and deal with them.  Nothing major, just my idiosyncrasies, and I have come to a place of stability.

I am going to be having many treats this rest of the year.  I am going away lots and I did have a moment or two this past week when I thought, fuck it.  I am going to be 100 days sober when I 1) go on holiday with my two old friends for the first time in 30 years – besties from school days.  Just the three of us going on holiday.  2) When I go to London with my family and see a show or so 3) Go to New York as a treat with my husband just after.  Then I go to SA to see my family for three weeks.  LOTS AND LOTS of drinking opportunities and I will have passed my 100 day challenge and pledge.  Eeeeek.  I know that this is how I am going to have to face these things….

  1. listen daily to Belle and her podcasts.  I have spent money on 100 podcasts and can listen to them more than once.  There is very little like listening to a podcast to put me back on the straight and narrow.
  2. Take it all one day at a time.  I will not drink just for today.  And I will say that every day.
  3. I am going to pledge to find the best mocktails wherever I go.  Like a treasure hunt for jewels that look lovely and will make me feel like I am treating myself.  I will post the pictures here on my quest.
  4. I know that if I don’t cave I will be so so so so (x100000) proud of myself.  I know that if I do cave I will not be pleased with myself.
  5. I am happy in this pleasant space of no booze that I am carving out for me.  I love it.  I feel like each day is a benediction.  So why would I leave it?
  6. Learn to realise that I will think… Oh come on, you’ve done so well, you deserve a little break, a little me time, it won’t get out of hand and so on and so forth.  But that is the wolfie within and it is a lie.

I do hope there are  still some of you reading this, and even if there is no one, then I am still going to blog away.  Next time I will talk about self care a little more.  I think this is a vital topic.

Love and hugs

Byeeeeee

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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