Day 43. No inspiration….

Sometimes you need to use others’ ideas!

I am using a comment from the website that I follow…I think it absolutely identically sums up how I feel …

pippa: “just want to say thank you for your emails. They make me feel like I’m in a posse of people who are doing this amazing thing. When I feel on the periphery of the world — cos it looks like everyone else is merrily drinking (even though I know logically this is not the case) — knowing that there are other women [and men] who have made the same excuses, wondered if they were making a mistake going AF (because, you know, I’m not THAT bad), and who go from feeling on top of the world about their decision to feeling shit and weird — makes the difference. Something has shifted for me fundamentally so I’m 10% conflicted but 90% happy and that part of me keeps getting bigger and more certain.  It used to be the other way round. I feel like I’m in a cool gang now.”

I do feel

  1. that everyone else seems to be merrily drinking – including my nearest and dearest children and husband… yet I know logically that not EVERYONE is….
  2. glad that there are other people who have made the same excuses as I have, who wondered if they were making a mistake going AF – because they are not THAT bad..
  3. pleased that someone can articulate how I feel from going on top of the world about my decision to feeling shit and weird….  
  4. relieved to realise that I am 10% conflicted and 90% happy and that the happy is getting bigger and bigger ….

All the above serve to remind me that I am not alone in my quest.  And that the niggles (and that is all they are in the grand scheme) would be doubled in importance and difficulty was I drinking.  Was I numbing the good and the bad…. was I getting that feeling of being victimised, ridiculed and so on that can come with a few drinks and feeling low ….

So thank the universe that I am where I am tonight.  In bed and nearly finished day 43….And in the cool gang now.

Hope you are all doing well 😉

Byeeeee

 

Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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