37. Still here

Not checked in for a few days!  I have still been grappling with my various changes going on and am happy to report that I have worked through some head issues well!  If I had been drinking I would CERTAINLY have drunk as the triggers for stress were my usual ones that I doused with alcohol to ease the discomfort thereof.

And because I did not drink, I faced them.  If I had drunk they would have been magnified and spiralled out of proportion even more than they did anyway!  And I would be in a messy mental space.  Really messy.   I am happy to report that I am not in a messy mental space.  The tiny tiny knock on effects of not drinking never cease to amaze me.  There will have to be a single (or many) posts about them.

Thing is…. and my lovely Belle would say that this is my Wolfie speaking…. I possibly was not THAT bad.  My husband keeps telling me that I was not that bad and I am being a bit drastic.  However, I was bad enough for me.  I was bad enough to google more than once, ”am I am alcoholic?”  Which I now know that I am NOT.

My final thought.  The difference between not drinking and drinking is HUGE.  And I was not even that bad.  Not an alcoholic.  Not a secret drinker.  Not an every time getting pissed drinker.  Just bad enough for me.  And I will carry on not drinking because it feels so good.


Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

One thought on “37. Still here”

  1. Your doing so well especially with a few changes going on! I love my sober days and I have to say that it is easier each time to choose not to have a drink but can’t say I have been sober all the time but I have definitely turned a corner with the drinking voice in my head!!!!


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