34. Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.

It is not all roses and glitter.

But it is much better to be facing my inner workings without the sheen of booze.  I am still trying to fight my head.  I am winning 😉  I guess today was the day I have most longed for the nice comfortable numbing effect of a large vodka and soda.  I am pretty emotional at the moment as my life is changing a lot with both my kids soon to be off.  And various momplicated thoughts.  Thanks to ones’ husband for the word!!!

And I would never dream of drinking now, no matter how desparately one might think one needs or wants a drink.  I pledged and keep that pledge I will.  And I KNOW with all my heart that the truth is drinking on top of complicated thoughts REALLY DOES NOT CLARIFY MATTERS.  So I am in bed with my cuppa tea (dot org) and I thought that this was a good share to share… From Saint Belle of Paris.

What are the odds that you want to go to bed tonight feeling the effects of a stroke, you know, poor balance, words not being formed quite how you’d hoped. what are the odds that you want to wake up tomorrow thinking what did i do, say, or promise?
i know a way to get the fake promising to stop. and it’ll improve your sleep (not magically, but gradually).and you’ll spend less money, and you’ll go to bed feeling pretty darn proud of yourself. you’re maybe sober and underway already. if so, remember what you’re doing 🙂 and remember to feel proud of you as you head to bed tonight. set a timer to go off at 9 pm, have a shower, read your book, and roll around in your bed yelling “i fucking love this.” if you don’t set a timer, you might forget. Belle – Tired of thinking about drinking….

“Feeling the effects of a stroke”.  I guess I have gone to bed feeling like that many 100’s of times!!  Waking up thinking what did I do or say ….?  TBH things did improve towards the end of the boozy career.  Slightly.  But then once or twice things got WAY out of hand!  And you have every googled ”am I an alcoholic” then I’m guessing (I do a lot of that) that you must have a bit of a problem with the dreaded poison.  I am not an alcoholic.  Definitely not. But I have a love/hate relationship with the stuff.  And the love stole the happiness from the next day.  And I don’t want that anymore.

Good night all (the few of you out there!!)  Another day ticked off – the further away from day one the better 😉



Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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