21. The energy is mental

This side of the door vs. that side of the door

My main aim of the experiment – for it really helps me not to feel too weird and out of the loop to call it that – my main aim is to see if life without the luscious liquid is better.  Obviously you can tell that for me right now, it is so much better this side.

The space freed up in ones’ head allows for energy to blossom.  Seriously the ideas and enthusiasm which are starting to grow is quite obvious.  I have time, energy and desire to do things which before I may have said…. ‘ummm will I be hungover?  Can I be bothered?  Avoid this person or that person because I REALLY don’t feel like I have time or energy to deal with them and so on….”.

And I was not hungover every day… Not by a long stretch.  It shows me how even a little bit of constant alcohol can suck the life out of you.  Life sucking liquid.  Why it is this way for some of us and not for others…??  Who knows.  I can’t dwell on that now.  I just need to accept that FOR THE MOMENT it has been sucking the life out of me and now I am doing something about that.

If you are new on here, and if you are struggling with the first few days or even first week, hang in there.  It gets better and better.  Distance between you and day one is key.  Belle describes that feeling of being a clam with no shell… I think of a snail with no shell.  The shell is alcohol – which is a lazy way of scratching our itches.  It is the ”go to” lazy solution for stress, sorrow, hurt, irritation and we when we feel we deserve a little pick-me-up or a little treat for whatever reason.  Sure it may very temporarily make things ease.  But some people like that fix too much.  You and me.  If you didn’t, you would not be reading this.  So you will possibly be feeling frustrated because your usual solution is gone and you may be feeling irritated and vulnerable.  But push through.  Sober toolkit… google it.  Go back to my day one and re read the pledge 😉 

So I am noticing my energy for everything is increasing.  I am even doing stupid things like taking empty washing powder cartons out of my laundry room – cartons which have lived there for at least four months.  I can be bothered to do things.  I do hope that you are finding reserves of mental energy expanding.  It’s very satisfying.

Off to prepare my grapefruit and tonic supplies for a big 18th birthday party tonight.  I have made two huge delicious carrot cakes that I am about to ice.  I am delighting in this energy.  Have you noticed it in you?

Love to you all


Author: barbsfalkiner

Approaching fifty, life about to change and want to try something different....

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