For a few days now I have woken up feeling elated. Weird. But wonderful. I think that putting the whole booze caboodle to one side allows us to get on with what is really important. For the first half (at least) of my experiment, I want to chart how different I felt that side, compared with this side, of the tiny sober door.
(I am fully aware that this may be a rosy period. That I will be faced with days where I want to stamp my foot and say ”fuck it – one won’t hurt”…. And, be my witnesses, that day, those words and my acting on them will be a BIG MISTAKE.)
I digress comme toujours. I think that the relief I feel and the expansiveness in my soul is what is called ”CONSOLATION”. The other side – the hangovers and the shame and the guilt and the wishing it was bed time and the lost items and the lost dignity and the lethargy – is called ”DESOLATION”.
These words are from Ignation Spirituality and they describe two states of mind. One is which we are giving and receiving love and life. ie Consolation and the other which drains and disconnects and depresses – this is called desolation.
In this type of spirituality you look DAILY at what brings life and connected-ness (consolation) AND you look at what drains and disconnects (desolation). You acknowledge BOTH. You don’t ignore desolation. You see it for what it is and you CHASE CONSOLATION. A brilliant piece of advice I read (Landmarks by Margaret Silf if you are interested) is NEVER TURN BACK ON A DECISION MADE IN CONSOLATION.
Make of this what you will. I am experiencing a period of grand consolation and I am relishing it. I will definitely enter periods of desolation. But right now I am going to chase what brings me life. And for me it is pamplemousse and tonic with a slice of lime.