Day four seems like day 400 ! It feels like ages ago that I have stopped the booze train and jumped off. I have woken up (on day 5) with a headache like a hangover but none of the associated feeling of an invisible audience in my head tut-tutting and shaking their heads and accusing. So that is great.
If ever there was a period to give up this is both very hard and very brilliant. I have social event after social event and guests staying. Every social event is alcohol centred, or so it seem to me. However, whilst this is hard for a few reasons, it is excellent for others. For instance I am feeling good (apart from headache which goes) good emotionally, and I can look myself and my kids in the eye. Every day. Love it. I have energy to be really present to the people around me.
The thing that I took from the wonderful lessons, which is rumbling around in my head is that this ”sober trial” is like a reboot of the old wiring in the brain. It is like putting a floppy disk in the the brain’s computer and trying to reset it. If I drink I take the floppy disk out and the reset will have to start again (if I want it to of course) and this is not easy….
And I like the picture of a little red sober car with me driving, rolling down a hill gathering momentum. The beginning is meant to be hard. We are going somewhere we are not used to being, and we need some help to show us the way, and to point out pitfalls. And we need some fuel for our little sober cars. Today I am going to buy this artisanal lemonade with some rosemary or herb or thing in it, which I saw in a little expensive organic shop. It costs about €4 – less by a way than a bottle of wine.
I am happy to go another day.