Hang in there.
Hello fellow humans:- drinkers, lurkers, non-drinkers, normals, hopefuls, failures… all of us are one or other of the above and maybe more!
Tomorrow I can type:
It has been:
- 300 days of waking up really well
- 300 days of feeling proud of myself at some stage in the day
- 300 days of no regrets
- 300 days of being poison free
- 300 days of no hangover
- 300 days of having to deal with my emotions really just me
- 300 days of discovering that actually it is possible that you can live without alcohol
I want to encourage you if you are struggling. I never IN A MILLION YEARS thought I could type the above. It is not possible to go into this ‘letting-go thing’ thinking long-term. It is too frightening, too final, just too much for our brains to cope with. Hence the one day at a time. It is not a desperate ”hanging in there” it is a calm fun one… like the picture above 😉
I would be lying if I said I did not fantasise about drinking ONE DAY. I do think/dream/ruminate upon the idea of going back. I imagine going back to wine when I am 65. Then I realise that some of my good friends are 60 soon (you know who you are) and realise that actually it is not that old!!! So I may extend that to 70! Or I may drink sooner? But I do know that without DAILY maintenance on my sober life I will go back. There is no question. It is a daily topping up of the sober fuel tank. If I go a few days without doing that the impression grows slightly that I COULD drink, it would be okay no? Hmmmm slippery slope.
The thought of going a year without alcohol is no longer this terrifying thought. It is something I just shrug and say to myself, wow! I hope I can put up a great before and after picture on the FB page! TBH my before and afters are not that dramatic… I had a high bottom when I opted out of the booze escalator. But still, I can see the brightness and steadiness in my eyes. And I know that I can look in the mirror straight into my eyes and not want to hide.
I am definitely going to explore more, the THING IS NOT IN THE THING. I will do more blogs, even if it is just for me. And tbh it is mostly for me, there is not a massive amount of activity on my page! But if you do tap in, say hi? I am often surprised at the countries represented!
Hugs to you all